Emotional balance gets started in early development and is able to expand throughout life. But it is our earliest years where we have our first experiences with how to manage our feelings.  But because stuff happens in any ordinary life, we might grow up with some corner of bad feeling that we can avoid dealing with until stress triggers them.

Depression is a type of dis-balance where feelings get heavier and hard to manage. Like a yacht that leans into the wind to keep its balance, depression being a weight pushing in, can also be the logical response to a real life experience.

In a trusting therapy relationship, feelings are able to looked at and get the support to hear what it has to say.

It is true that we live a culture that may hold harsh opinions about depression. However, feelings are not moral failures. They are a signal, a communication from within, that is asking for attention. Much like a red light on a car dashboard that alerts the driver to stop and take a look under the hood.

Hearing what our feelings want helps us think and take control.  It is a path to  healing, relief and growth. But for many people, listening to our own heavy feelings can be hard in many ways.

Listening to ones on negative feelings can also be confusing work on ones own. Some feelings are hard to get a hold of. They can evade us like minnows, darting for cover in a pond. Other feelings may be aware of, and so refuse them as an unwelcome visitor. Many people feel they must cope by thinking, “It’s okay,  its only a little thing…I’m fine.”  And this is quality coping when you have no time to look at it until you find time. The most effective to get to the heart of it, tends to be finding someone to talk to about it.

A therapist is someone separate from the rest of your life. And talking to a therapist is a space for you that is private and confidential.

Psychotherapy offers a unique and personal path for anyone who wonders why or how or when?  In the therapy conversation, it is the feelings, thoughts, wishes, dreams and other personally meaningful possessions, that can rework feelings that limit self confidence, self-esteem and self motivation. The feelings that lend weigh to life, can become lighter and make room for new development.

Over time, this kind of conversation makes room for change — not through advice or quick fixes, but by helping you reconnect with who you are beneath the depression.

“Will this stir up things I’d rather avoid?”
Possibly — but you are free to avoid talking or wait until you feel ready to talk about something. Therapy works by moving at your pace.

“What if I become dependent on therapy?”
It is natural to become attached to therapy, or to the therapist, especially when the work feels helpful. That attachment is not a problem in itself. In fact, it can become part of the work: understanding what you need, what feels hard to leave, and how to carry more of the work into your own life.

If something you read here resonates and you’d like see if we might work together, get in touch by phone or email via my psychology today profile.